Love Addict

As I was reflecting over the past few years, I came to the realization that I’m an addict….Love is my addiction. With my share of crazy relationships in the past few years, dating has been crazy for me to say the least bit. While I found myself on several dates, they were primarily one time dates that didn’t develop into anything lasting. However, there was one who got under my skin. After several attempts to make that one something lasting, the flame flickered and soon was no more before 2008 came to an end. I resolved that it too was not meant to be. One day while pondering my debacle love life, I entered into deep thought. I simply closed my eyes, and when opened, I positioned myself in front of my computer and created “Toni’s 2009 Love Rules”:

Rule #1: Know yourself. How can you meet your perfect mate if you are still searching to “find” yourself? If you do not know yourself, you will find yourself altering who you are to satisfy someone else.

Rule #2: Have guidelines. Since childhood, many of us can identify things we like and dislike without thinking twice. For me, I need mustard and mayo on my hamburger or extra peanut butter on my sandwich to be completely satisfied. Without being too anal, we should know what we are seeking in a mate as well (tall, dark and handsome will not get it done ladies). Society should not dictate these desires. Society gives us an image and in many instances, we pass Mr. Right on our way to a head-on crash with Mr. Wrong.

Rule #3: Wanted: Chemistry (all others need not apply). Don’t fool yourself…a relationship without chemistry is like a fire without a flame. For most, chemistry comes from the first conversation or the first meeting. That annoying feeling that keeps telling you “he/she is not the one” is your gut instant….listen to it; follow it. Everyone is not meant to be your mate.

Rule #4: Be patient. Are we sometimes so desperate for love that we are willing to settle for someone who does not fulfill our dreams and/or someone we know is wrong, but we want to give them a chance anyway? YES WE ARE. We find ourselves having to recoup from a disastrous relationship we could have otherwise prevented if we had only practiced patience. Know that your season is coming in due time (For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven….Ecclesiastes 3:1). Until that time, focus your attention on other things. Get involved in extracurricular activities, hang out with your girls/boys, or read a good book. Like most things, love will happen when you least expect it. If you’re one of those fortunate individuals who has found love already, cherish it. Like a plant, it needs to be nurtured to grow. Understand perfection is not a human characteristic. Find strength for your trials and have hope for your future. Most of all…enjoy the moment. Be Blessed.